"Turning points announce themselves through a variety of vague
symptoms: deep restlessness, a yearning with no name,
inexplicable boredom, the feeling of being stuck."
- Gloria Karpinski
Do you
- feel restless, agitated and/or bored?
- notice you have developed a serious case of the "blahs"?
- experience tremendous resistance to doing what you need to do?
- have thoughts such as "What's the point?"
If you answered YES to two or more of these questions, your box
may be too small. It's time to bust out! (For all of you who
are thinking "What is she talking about?" here's the
explanation.)
Your box is a metaphor for the beliefs, rules and circumstances
(aka BRCs) in your life that no longer work for you. You carry
BRCs around despite that fact that they no longer serve your
growth and development, and that it's in your best interest to
discard them. For instance, my client Joanie was afraid to join
a gym (even though she desperately wanted to) because she was
concerned that she'd only use it for a month or so. If that
happened, she'd feel like a failure and foolish in front of her
friends and family. After reflecting, she recognized that she
was hauling around an outmoded belief that it actually mattered
how others perceived her decisions about whether or not she
worked out.
Over time, these BRC's accumulate around us, brick by brick,
walling us off from the awareness of what we want as well as the
ability to act on what we want. I usually know that I'm in my
box when I can't remember the last time that I had fun, or when
someone asks what I do for fun, and my response is "Huh?" or
something along those lines. As an entrepreneur and a mother,
I'm busy and I work hard. It's easy to get trapped in my box of
BRCs to move from one responsibility to next without
considering what's best for me. And sometimes having fun is best
gift I could give myself.
Ways to bust out of your box:
- Ask yourself, "What have I outgrown?"
- Eliminate the thought that you need to feel better before
taking action. For example, it's a common belief that feeling
fear indicates that you shouldn't take action. Actually, the
reverse is true. Most of the time, the only way to decrease fear
is to do what you need to do.
- Shift your perspective. Do one thing differently. This could be
as simple as wearing purple socks if you usually wear black. It
could be thinking, "Today, the glass is half full."
- Consider what you might be avoiding in your life and ask
yourself, "Why?" Make sure you answer that one honestly.
Identifying the need to "bust out of your box" is a wake up
call, a warning that either your comfort zone has gotten too
narrow or that you need to listen to yourself. The next time you
feel restless or bored, develop a case of the "blahs" or feel
resistance, capitalize on this opportunity to take a closer look
at your beliefs, rules and circumstances. It might be time to
shake 'em up.
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Claudette Rowley, Coach and Author
Helps entrepreneurs harness their potential & soar to new heights
Co-author ~
A Guide To Getting It: A Clear, Compelling Vision
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